I'm thankful.

Since I was a little girl I would always say “I’m thankful for my family” and this phrase has never been so real for me this year. After the things I [we] have had to endure, our family will never be the same. This is the first year that my family of five [and my lovely boyfriend] gathered at our OWN table in MY house. This was crazy for me!?! Since I can remember I have spent my entire thanksgiving day going from one grandparents house to another. At this time of any other year, I would barely be able to walk and sitting on my granny’s couch [don’t get me wrong, sitting on my couch with a blanket and watching Chris play the xbox isnt the worst thing] but its not the normal for me. Its something I never thought would happen. But that faces me to the reality of life, change. My family has went through tough things here lately and maybe things didn’t go back to normal [which is a good thing in most ways] but I have something to call family wether we are together under the same roof or not. Some people don’t even get that. I’m thankful for my family wether they realize it now or not, im also thankful that I sleep in my bed again at night and I am not in my household again. I have never been more thankful for something in my life. It took me having to go through pain and tears but the reality is..it showed me how truly blessed I am.

My friends, where would I be without my friends? When it comes to them.. i’m thankful for.. Allyson. The fact that she is the only one who I have not had conflict with that tore us apart. All of our traditions that mean so much to me. That no matter what she is here to listen and to say something that is so true and really be here for me. The great times I get to have with her family, especially her mother. How she is different from the normal teenager who is boy crazy.. she would rather not deal with stupid people and stupid things. She is never afraid to speak her opinion when most people wouldn’t dare to ever think some things. Jessica. The way we can understand each other. The way that we have been through so many similar things and been there every step of the way. The way she is also here for me no matter what. We have been through a lot but always seem to come out of it together. The way that she makes an impact in my everyday life and how I would be lost if she wasn’t there anymore. Brandi. The fact that she has gone from a girl in middle school who I didn’t care much for to a girl who means the world to me. I love how I get to share cheerleading with her. The way her house smells and is decorated. The fact that I have had many special nights with people in her house. How her mom buys me Wendy’s. How she sleeps in so late and I always wake her up. How she has always been here for me as well. It’s the little things in life that mean so much to me. With these three girls the littlest things have become the biggest to me. The reason I would get through most days. Then little things like.. Andrew and Sean in first period and the way that they actually seem to care about me, my Teacher Cadet class and the way we are all getting close, my conversations with Lindsey and how she truly helps me and was my go to girl for all my family stuff, my cheerleading team that I coach at Cape Fear...those girls honestly have become my passion and I enjoy every second with the, the teachers who have had the greatest influence on me, my youth pastor and the wise things he says, the way that Trevor always listens to me complain and will tell me something so bluntly..and all the other little things that have become my everything.

Christopher Joesph Craven is another person that I have so many reasons to be thankful for. Someone who has been here since the first day he met me. To listen to me complain, laugh with me, and cry with me. He has been here to forgive me and understand me. To push me through everyday and to never let me down. He has made mistakes, yes. But mistakes that he is truly sorry for. He lifts me up when im down and catches me when I fall. He has become my best friend not just my boyfriend. He has become apart of me in the short sixth months that he has been here. Wherever we stand in the future.. I know one thing for sure..we will stand together.. dating or not I know Chris will always be here for me and for him, I am very thankful.

I pass this guy in my everyday life, I say hello and I smile. I may even ask how his day is and what his plans are for the weekend. He has sat with me in church once and since then he will speak to me everyday. He texted me tonight saying, “Your the only nice person in Trask”. What does that say about people and the way they treat others? What does that say about our school? At this moment.. it all hit me. Everything that I have to be thankful for. I am thankful that I have been gifted with this life where I have everything that a girl needs to get through it. Where I have dreams and goals. Where I have people who love me and people who hate me. That I have compassion and I care about everyone which is the reason I had an effect on this boy. I have a life. A life, just that is worth being thankful for.

More importantly then anything on this blog, I have a God who loves me. A God of second chance. The father who put me here and has given me life. No matter how many times I mess up, he will be here. He loves us all and that, that is everything in this world that I need to be thankful for because without my God, I would be nothing and I wouldn’t have any of the things I listed above.. I would truly be nothing.

...and for all of this, I am thankful.